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Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep

Christmas is now upon us, and as it is with most holiday seasons, it is also a natural point in the year to reflect on what was going on last Christmas, and how you grew since then.

This past year has been a roller coaster, to say the least. I had a one of a kind study abroad adventure in Kyoto, Japan that has impacted my general worldview and my future career plans in ways that I couldn’t even anticipate 12 months ago. I’ve met a ton of new people that have challenged me and changed me for the better, but I’ve also experienced some losses in the family that made things a bit tougher at times. None of these losses were as difficult as the loss of my grandfather this past January.

To put it bluntly, last year’s Christmas really sucked. There were a lot of visits to and from the hospital, and a lot of wondering if my grandfather was actually going to get better or not. Eventually, after persevering through various painful medical procedures and a period of generally terrible health, he passed away. As many of you that have experienced the death of a family member might know, the months after a loved one passes are a mysterious time. I, at least, suddenly found myself a little more “spiritual,” sometimes speaking out loud to my grandfather as if we were simply having a conversation. I wondered what he’d really be saying to me if he were still living, which was very hard to imagine given that he rarely spoke anyway. Today, my mother showed me an article about a Japanese singer named Masafumi Akikawa (秋川雅史), and I did a quick YouTube search to listen to his hit song, Sen no Kaze ni Natte (A Thousand Winds). As I was listening to the song, I started to feel like maybe this is what the other half of the conversation sounds like…what my grandfather would be saying. This is not a cheery, holiday post, but I think it reflects the distance that I’ve traveled between two Christmases.

私のお墓の前で 泣かないでください
Watashi no ohaka no mae de Nakanai de kudasai
Do not weep at my grave.
そこに私はいません 眠ってなんかいません
Soko ni watashi wa imasen Nemutte nanka imasen
I am not there. I am not sleeping.
千の風に 千の風になって
Sen no kaze ni Sen no kaze ni natte
A thousand winds. I will become a thousand winds.
あの大きな空を 吹きわたっています
Ano ooki na sora wo fukiwatatte imasu
I blow in the great sky.

秋には光になって 畑にふりそそぐ
Aki ni wa hikari ni natte Hatake ni furisosogu
In the autumn, I am the light that falls upon the crop fields.
冬はダイヤのように きらめく雪になる
Fuyu wa daiya no you ni Kirameku yuki ni naru
In the winter, I am the falling snow that shines as a diamond.
朝は鳥になって あなたを目覚めさせる
Asa wa tori ni natte Anata wo mezamesaseru
In the morning, I am the bird to whose song you awake.
夜は星になって あなたを見守る
Yoru wa hoshi ni natte Anata wo mimamoru
At night, I am the stars that watch over you.

私のお墓の前で 泣かないでください
Watashi no ohaka no mae de Nakanai de kudasai
Do not cry at my grave.
そこに私はいません 死んでなんかいません
Soko ni watashi wa imasen Shinde nanka imasen
I am not there. I did not die.
千の風に 千の風になって
Sen no kaze ni Sen no kaze ni natte
As a thousand winds. As a thousand winds.
あの大きな空を 吹きわたっています
Ano ooki na sora wo fukiwatatte imasu
That blow in the great sky.
千の風に 千の風になって
Sen no kaze ni Sen no kaze ni natte
As a thousand winds. As a thousand winds.
あの大きな空を 吹きわたっています
Ano ooki na sora wo fukiwatatte imasu
That blow in the great sky.
あの大きな空を 吹きわたっています
Ano ooki na sora wo Fukiwatatte imasu
I blow in the great sky.

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